no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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