I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
