pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
