are you so shy because you have an std?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
