Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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