Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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