I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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