"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
