I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
