wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
