My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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