He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
