I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
