you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
