if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
True strength comes from lack of pants
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