she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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