I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
