I think im going to throw up on grandma
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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