But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Randomize
