apparently the secret to your success is patron
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
