so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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