I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
