This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I pour the whiskey from now on
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
