Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Why did my mother make you get naked?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
