there's paper in my vomit.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
