Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
