I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
