cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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