I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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