official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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