I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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