loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
