I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
