your parents love me but you hate me
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
