I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
