It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
