My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I have aggressive nipples.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
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