Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
