If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
