I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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