Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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