i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
