Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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