Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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