The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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