We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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