Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
