When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
