her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
