oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
