Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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