my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
