Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
